Not Enough Sex

We live in a sexually underdeveloped culture. Now, I know that amidst the dropping jaws and attempts to shoe the children away from the computer there is an indignant voice of disbelief in answer to that statement, but hear me out. 

The catechism says about sex: "Sexuality affects all aspects of the human person in the unity of his body and soul. It especially concerns affectivity, the capacity to love and to procreate, and in a more general way the aptitude for forming bonds of communion with others."(Par 2332) It is this aspect of sex that I want to discuss. Certainly, the Catechism also states that sexuality "is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman" (2360), but it is this conjugal act that is overly discussed, perverted, and focused on in our culture today. By focusing so much on the actual physical act itself, our world has lost sight of the other side to sex. Going back to Paragraph 2332, sexuality especially relates to the 'capacity to love and procreate'. Sex is ordered first and foremost to unity and procreation. In the literal sense, this means of course the love between spouses and the resulting children. But look at that last part of the paragraph: 'in a more general way the aptitude for forming bonds of communion with others.' And this is where I am going with this post.

So, in a broad sense, sex is about unity and procreation. If you really think about it, everything we do as spiritually 'sexual' beings should be ordered to just that; unity and procreation. Our interactions with our fellow humans and indeed with our God, should increase our unity and result in something more, whether more grace in prayer, more understanding, more love, etc. Our relationships should not be distant and dead, but unifying and fruitful. We are called to healthy, spiritually sexual relationships with our God and with our neighbour. To approach our neighbour without charity, to hold back our support, our attention, our willingness to give, is to adopt a contraceptive mentality: refusing to give oneself entirely and preventing the procreation of a greater good. The same goes for prayer: we cannot approach God while holding back if we expect good to come from it. 

A priest I respect greatly often said in his homilies, to families and to students that came to him that love is to 'do the good that more good may be done'. It is not enough that we merely go about being 'good people' and hold back from giving ourselves entirely. Just as spouses are called to give themselves in unity entirely not just for themselves but in order to procreate, to allow 'more good to be done', so to each and every person is called to faithfully and freely give of themselves in order allow greater unity among people and allow greater good to be 'born'. 

Lets look at some examples of this spiritual sexuality in action. First and foremost is the Holy Trinity Itself. The three Persons of our one God are not only in perfect unity, but through this unity brought forth all of creation. Now if that isn't unity and procreation in action, nothing is! 

Looking throughout salvation history, the story of our spiritual sexuality is evident again and again. In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were in perfect unity with God, the procreation of which was abundant grace, peace, etc. When they ate the forbidden fruit, they damaged this relationship by refusing to given entirely of themselves in unity with God. Cue a few thousand years of divorce between God and His people, where God repeatedly tries to mend this relationship with covenants etc, while His people remain unfaithful and unfruitful. Skipping ahead to the Holy Family, we can see perhaps the most obvious example of spiritual sexuality perfected. Though Mary and Joseph never had physical relations, Mary gave of herself freely and totally to God, and by becoming so unified to Him, gave birth to Christ.   Fast forward again to Christ's preaching, and He says that 'where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am also' (Mat 18:20). So, when two or more are gathered in prayer (unity), there too is God Himself (procreation). Hmmmmm....sound like anything familiar? Now, perhaps most literal was the example of Mary and Joseph, who gathered in Christ's name and literally gave birth to Him, but each and every one of us is called to the same unity and procreation. Looking at it that way, those who choose to become religious or remain virgins don't seem to be missing out: if anything, they have a more perfect sexual relationship with God and with their neighbours, less distorted by our culture's focus on one tiny aspect of the picture. And when Christ died, in perfect unity with God's will, He restored our unity with God so that the procreation of saving grace could resume. Divorce over! Yay! 

So, while I don't suggest running about the streets shouting "I'm having sex with EVERYONE!!!!", that is essentially what we are called to. Our culture has limited the meaning of this great gift of sexuality to the physical act alone, often distorting even that sacred aspect, but there is so much more. It is a mentality. It is a spirituality. It is a reality. Our conversations, our interactions, our prayer, our everything is called to bring about unity and the procreation of more good. Sex is not dirty, it is so beautiful, and it is a gift that extends to the spiritual life as well as the physical. 

The closer we are to God, the more we give of ourselves, the more perfect our sexual relationship with God and neighbor. So, following from that, is it fair to say that saints have the best sex? 

God Bless,

Anna