Not Enough Sex

We live in a sexually underdeveloped culture. Now, I know that amidst the dropping jaws and attempts to shoe the children away from the computer there is an indignant voice of disbelief in answer to that statement, but hear me out. 

The catechism says about sex: "Sexuality affects all aspects of the human person in the unity of his body and soul. It especially concerns affectivity, the capacity to love and to procreate, and in a more general way the aptitude for forming bonds of communion with others."(Par 2332) It is this aspect of sex that I want to discuss. Certainly, the Catechism also states that sexuality "is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman" (2360), but it is this conjugal act that is overly discussed, perverted, and focused on in our culture today. By focusing so much on the actual physical act itself, our world has lost sight of the other side to sex. Going back to Paragraph 2332, sexuality especially relates to the 'capacity to love and procreate'. Sex is ordered first and foremost to unity and procreation. In the literal sense, this means of course the love between spouses and the resulting children. But look at that last part of the paragraph: 'in a more general way the aptitude for forming bonds of communion with others.' And this is where I am going with this post.

So, in a broad sense, sex is about unity and procreation. If you really think about it, everything we do as spiritually 'sexual' beings should be ordered to just that; unity and procreation. Our interactions with our fellow humans and indeed with our God, should increase our unity and result in something more, whether more grace in prayer, more understanding, more love, etc. Our relationships should not be distant and dead, but unifying and fruitful. We are called to healthy, spiritually sexual relationships with our God and with our neighbour. To approach our neighbour without charity, to hold back our support, our attention, our willingness to give, is to adopt a contraceptive mentality: refusing to give oneself entirely and preventing the procreation of a greater good. The same goes for prayer: we cannot approach God while holding back if we expect good to come from it. 

A priest I respect greatly often said in his homilies, to families and to students that came to him that love is to 'do the good that more good may be done'. It is not enough that we merely go about being 'good people' and hold back from giving ourselves entirely. Just as spouses are called to give themselves in unity entirely not just for themselves but in order to procreate, to allow 'more good to be done', so to each and every person is called to faithfully and freely give of themselves in order allow greater unity among people and allow greater good to be 'born'. 

Lets look at some examples of this spiritual sexuality in action. First and foremost is the Holy Trinity Itself. The three Persons of our one God are not only in perfect unity, but through this unity brought forth all of creation. Now if that isn't unity and procreation in action, nothing is! 

Looking throughout salvation history, the story of our spiritual sexuality is evident again and again. In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were in perfect unity with God, the procreation of which was abundant grace, peace, etc. When they ate the forbidden fruit, they damaged this relationship by refusing to given entirely of themselves in unity with God. Cue a few thousand years of divorce between God and His people, where God repeatedly tries to mend this relationship with covenants etc, while His people remain unfaithful and unfruitful. Skipping ahead to the Holy Family, we can see perhaps the most obvious example of spiritual sexuality perfected. Though Mary and Joseph never had physical relations, Mary gave of herself freely and totally to God, and by becoming so unified to Him, gave birth to Christ.   Fast forward again to Christ's preaching, and He says that 'where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am also' (Mat 18:20). So, when two or more are gathered in prayer (unity), there too is God Himself (procreation). Hmmmmm....sound like anything familiar? Now, perhaps most literal was the example of Mary and Joseph, who gathered in Christ's name and literally gave birth to Him, but each and every one of us is called to the same unity and procreation. Looking at it that way, those who choose to become religious or remain virgins don't seem to be missing out: if anything, they have a more perfect sexual relationship with God and with their neighbours, less distorted by our culture's focus on one tiny aspect of the picture. And when Christ died, in perfect unity with God's will, He restored our unity with God so that the procreation of saving grace could resume. Divorce over! Yay! 

So, while I don't suggest running about the streets shouting "I'm having sex with EVERYONE!!!!", that is essentially what we are called to. Our culture has limited the meaning of this great gift of sexuality to the physical act alone, often distorting even that sacred aspect, but there is so much more. It is a mentality. It is a spirituality. It is a reality. Our conversations, our interactions, our prayer, our everything is called to bring about unity and the procreation of more good. Sex is not dirty, it is so beautiful, and it is a gift that extends to the spiritual life as well as the physical. 

The closer we are to God, the more we give of ourselves, the more perfect our sexual relationship with God and neighbor. So, following from that, is it fair to say that saints have the best sex? 

God Bless,

Anna

The Clear Vessel

I love analogies. Love 'em. In fact, I often find myself speaking in winding metaphors and confusing comparisons, much to the dismay of my companions. However, this being my blog, I feel less obliged to appease the quick of speech and therefore plan to fully indulge in my guilty pleasure as the whim takes me...ok, I will show some restraint, don't worry.

Today's analogy springs from a conversation about the relationship between Christ's light shining inside us and our own talents, virtues etc. Often people get confused as to which is which, how they are related, and just how proud we are 'allowed' to be of ourselves. Many of us have heard people say of saints that 'Christ shone through them', and that the saints 'became nothing that Christ could become everything'. But how? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN???

Well, there are pages upon pages on that very subject, in the Catechism, the Summa and other excellent titles, but I merely suggest an analogy to aid our visual minds in understanding this great mystery.

First of all, imagine that God created each of us as a beautiful, transparent vessel, each with it's own shape and size, and no cork to close it up. And in each vessel, God Himself resides as a great light, so bright that to look at any individual vessel is practically the same as to look at the light. The vessel in no way dims or changes the glory of He who resides inside. This is us as God intended at creation, perfect displays of His glory, goodness, love and power etc.

Now, speed up to that famous scene in the Garden of Eden. Man falls, is cast out and is separated from God. Picture that beautiful, clean vessel as falling into a puddle and becoming caked with dirt. The opening is even partially blocked by dirt. The light inside is dimmer, though not gone, but often impossible to see for all the dirt of sin, which is added to by personal sin as time goes on. It is no longer easy, or sometimes even possible, to see that wonderful light of God within each other.

Fast forward again to Christ's Passion and glorious Resurrection. Through Him, the stain of original sin can now be washed away with baptism, clearing that opening and allowing the light to enter fully again. But we still have personal sin. Mud is still caked on our vessels. Even things that perhaps are not exactly sins, but rather unperfected aspects of our fallen selves contribute to the crust covering our vessels. But now, shafts and beams of light often peep through, in a kind action, a moment of forgiveness or love, etc. The more that we become like God in our own lives, the more we chip away at that crust hiding who we really are.

And here is where I find that many people have differing views. As we grow in virtue, we are not so much increasing the light; the light is God, who is consistent and always at full strength; but rather we are allowing more and more of that light to shine through us. It is true that our gifts are from God, that it is He who gives us our strength and grace to become virtuous, so we may not take credit for the light. Rather, we may be rightly proud of our efforts to clear away the debris hiding God's light within us.

How is this pride not sinful? Well, sinful pride puts oneself above others or even God. However, when we truly have the mentality and spirituality of clearing away all the dirt and crust that hides God's light, we are not focusing on ourselves, but rather becoming again that transparent vessel so that people may look at us and see Christ. Still us, still each a unique vessel, but so vividly Christ that we truly become 'nothing' and Christ 'everything'.

Now that was quite a rant, but I did say I liked analogies. And I find this one has helped me to understand when I am acting out of pride or truly for God's Glory. Do I wish to add to myself, that people may see me (though in fact they see dirt caked on) or do I wish, as Pope John Paul II put it, to "become who (I) am"? To become transparent and beautiful, a clear vision of God and His glory? This is humility; to know and accept what we are, what we truly are. That means the good and the bad, and to always keep in mind the beauty with which we were created.

Also important is the other aspect of this process; recognizing the light in others. For each and every one of us is "fearfully and wonderfully made"(Psalm 139:14), and deserves to be treated as a fellow vessel of Christ. Beware judgements, scandal causing others to sin, bad example and all things that may hamper other's attempts to cleanse themselves: it's easy to forget that these things can be just like throwing mud at an already dirty vessel (not to mention adding you your mud pile).

The sacraments are excellent vessel-cleasners, by the way. Not just confession, but Holy Communion especially and the permenant sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation, and all the others. Each gives specific grace (or what I like to call 'super-soap') to strengthen and purify us.

God Bless all fellow vessels, and if any of you knows some especially good cleaning-tips, please share!!!

Anna

Coming out of the cave

The story of Plato's Cave has always held a certain fascination for me. As the story goes, there are several people who have lived their entire lives chained to the wall of a cave, where all they can see are shadows being projected onto the blank wall in front of them. To them, the shadows, which in reality are simply being cast by a fire behind them, represent reality. The philosopher, according to Plato, is one who has been freed from his chains, and comes to know the world as it truly is in reality by leaving the cave and its shadows for the light of truth. 

At least for myself, the world today can seem very much like a cave, and everything merely shadows. We all have questions, we all have opinions, but where do we find the truth? In the shadows? Or the light of truth? And how do we know what we're looking at? 

Indeed, perhaps one of the most disturbing aspects of today's western culture to me is not so much the rejection of truths, but the denial of the existence of truth. The denial that there even is a cave, or a sun, shadows or light. The idea that each person may decide for himself what is 'true' is a rather prevalent thought in our world. However, such an idea is not only illogical and dangerous, it's frankly pure bogus. The idea that absolutes, that truth, that morality itself is all purely relative is nothing more than a clever (or lazy) way out of dealing with many of the difficult or downright challenging facts of life. 

The reality is, we are all in a cave, to one degree or another, and we cannot afford to just sit and stare at shadows. We are called to light, and to spread light, and that means leaving the cave, however comfortable it may be. 

And so, there you have the reason for this blog. Not, perhaps, a map out of the cave, but more of a traveller's journal. Enjoy and feel free to comment and share thoughts!!!

God Bless,
Anna